Tools & Tips To Improve Yourself
Ways to Control Unwanted Emotions
Being at the mercy of your emotions can cause a lot of otherwise capable people to lose control of themselves. Not controlling your emotions can cause you to send the wrong message to people you are communicating with and even make people lose faith in you. Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean stuffing them and ignoring them, but it means overcoming the emotions to ensure that you make good choices.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
When your emotions are triggered, don’t stuff it down. Instead, feel the emotion and name it. If you are with someone this may affect, try to take a break so that you can be with the feelings that you have without reacting in a way that affects them.
Know Your Emotional Triggers
If you know the types of things that can trigger serious emotions from you, such as anger, sadness, and frustration, especially if crying or shaking accompanies this emotion. That way you will know when you need to avoid it.
Avoid Defensive Behavior
Emotions can cause you to become defensive, which may cause you to stop listening to negative feedback, make excuses for failure, and pass the blame to others. Even actions like crossing your arms and tapping your fingers can give away your emotions and block your ability to hear what someone is saying.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel Them Later
While you don’t want to shove your emotions down, pick a time to fully feel the emotions later. For example, if you’re in custody mediation with your ex, it’s not the right time to lay down on the floor and cry. Do that later.
Focus on the Task at Hand
Try to push your mind to focus only on what you are doing right now. If you can focus on that one thing, and not what might happen, can happen, or will happen later, it’ll be easier for you to control unwanted emotions.
Understand That Feelings Aren’t Actions
When you are seeking to control your unwanted emotions, you’re not trying not to feel the emotions. Instead, you’re seeing to control your actions that give away your emotions. For example, crying, shaking, tapping, breathing with irritation and so forth are all behaviors you want to avoid while dealing with other people.
Meditate Regularly
You can gain control over unwanted emotions by practicing daily meditation. Meditation teaches you to focus on right now. When focus better, you’ll do a better job controlling unwanted emotions.
Keep an Explanatory Emotional Journal
Naming your emotions and finding out what triggers them is essential to this entire process. Try keeping a journal that you can always keep with you so that you can write down the emotions and their cause. Acknowledge your emotions and learn how to react accordingly.